HOME SCHOOLING TEENS

by Terri L. White

Teenagers are young adults who reason, think, and challenge issues we as parents take for granted. They want answers, and parents are responsible for showing them how to research to find those answers. While in lower grades children learn by memorizing facts, in teen years they learn to apply their knowledge through formulating valid concepts, analyzing arguments, and orienting themselves as mature believers. It is vital that we teach by principles that are consistent with our own values since this educational process will develop every area of our teen’s life -- mentally, spiritually, socially, physically, and culturally.

A balanced learning environment is needed to teach our young people how to live. This includes: analytical learning -- acquiring information through a teacher, books, tapes, and other forms of media; creative learning -- exploring one’s interests by developing projects; practical learning -- applying information learned to everyday living. Most of us are familiar with analytical learning because that is how a traditional school dispenses information. We are not, however, as comfortable with the creative and practical learning approaches. If your son, for example, is interested in architecture, for a project (creative learning) he could study the history of architecture, including the designs of different types of structures throughout history in various cultures. To complement his research skills, he might construct a model of one or more buildings, draw some examples, or expand his computer skills by employing an architectural program. Perhaps he could present his project to a small group of family and friends to practice his speech skills. In addition, an apprenticeship with a local architect would give him practical learning experience. As you can see, this approach utilizes a variety of skills while exploring one particular subject. A balanced learning environment allows your home school the flexibility for developing family-living skills, part-time jobs, cottage industries, community service, and more. Your young adults will not only enter college, the work-force, and marriage with plenty of book (analytical) learning, but will also have had opportunities to encourage inventiveness and curiosity (creative learning), and establish skills in practical living.

Teaching difficult subjects in the high school years is not as daunting as it may seem. While textbooks supply excellent teacher’s manuals, most home school support groups are replete with parents gifted in every area of life. Families can co-op teach or hire a tutor (usually a home schooling parent) to teach a group of students. Also, local junior colleges are another source for instruction in difficult subjects. Don’t underestimate your high schooler’s ability, though, because many are capable of teaching themselves with occasional help from an adult. And as the parent, you may even surprise yourself as you dredge algebra out of the archives of your brain and find yourself actually teaching the dreaded subject!

While balanced learning stimulates the intellect, teens need positive outlets for the volcanic, hormonal energies surging through their bodies. Channeled appropriately, young people can avoid the violence and immorality that are so prevalent in our society today. Since boys tend to be more aggressive during these formative years, activities that utilize that energy should be provided. Some may enjoy sports or a part-time job, while others may dive into the world of computers, but find your son’s niche and give him time to spend in it. These opportunities will help keep that budding sexual drive in check. Girls, being more emotional than boys, need someone to love. A regular babysitting job can give your daughter the opportunity to lavish affection on a baby, or, if she is an animal lover, give her a pet of her choice for which she should be solely responsible. This enables her to release those emotional charges flowing through her in appropriate ways so that she does not spend her days "mooning" over some boy and open doors that could weaken her moral resolve to remain pure.

Along-side appropriately channeled energies, teens need stable influences in their lives. Parents who invest time in their young adults will provide the means for open and honest relationships. Their is simply no substitute for a healthy relationship with your son or daughter. Priorities should include family prayer and Bible studies, family activities (games/outings), one-on-one times, get-togethers with other families, and cooperative household chores. The security built within this framework for your teen will provide the springboard for healthy relationships outside your home.

As the world sings "Breaking up Is Hard to Do," and peer pressure lures young adults into the "dating game," home schooled teens around the country are discovering a better way. With divorce and "living together" outside the bonds of marriage accepted as the norm today, young people are taking a second look at the twentieth-century phenomenon of dating. Genesis 2:24 states that when a man and woman are united, they become "one flesh." Flesh in Hebrew is basar.   It encompasses not only the body, but also the soul of an individual, establishing that in a marriage-like relationship, the body and soul are intertwined and become one. If that union is broken, then your emotions are ripped apart, leaving a portion of yourself (your soul/emotions) with the other person. Even if a relationship does not include sexual encounters, most are deeply intimate emotionally. In the all too common "breaking up" scenario, one’s soul is left bruised, bleeding, and fragmented. For marriage to be successful, then, it is best for each partner to enter it whole. Instead of giving one’s spouse a used and broken "basar," one can preserve one’s "basar" and present oneself as a whole and pure gift. Just as we would never presume to give someone a dirty, torn shirt for a gift, how can we let our teens settle for less in their social lives?

As an alternative to dating, young people are experiencing the joy of spending time with other teens in family gatherings. Clean friendships in group settings replace the romantic pressures of a date. When young people develop friendships with the opposite sex, they can relax and be themselves without trying to impress another person. Group outings that provide a variety of activities allow teens to get to know each other under different circumstances; activities might include: sports, birthday parties, bowling, community service, Bible studies, prayer meetings, chores, and the list could go on. During these years of growing into adulthood, young people should be able to relax and have the privilege of being friends with both boys and girls.

Because friendship and common values should be the main reasons for any young man and woman to consider marriage to one another, these types of group settings allow each one to be naturally drawn together without the artificial pullings of the dating game. When two people are mature enough (that cannot be overly emphasized!), then, with the blessings of both sets of parents, the couple can begin a time of courting. This is different than casual dating. Dating involves no commitment; it is just a casual encounter. Courtship, on the other hand, is a commitment to the serious consideration of marriage. It is a time before marriage when the couple goes beyond friendship and enters into a loving relationship. With careful boundaries, the couple can enjoy some time alone in wholesome and safe settings. No room should ever be allowed for physical intimacy; that only belongs to the marriage union. Thus, young people can enter marriage with a "clean slate." 

We were blessed to experience this approach to relationships with our oldest son. Jonathan began apprenticing in carpentry at age 16 with a friend of ours who was home schooling his three daughters and one son. As our families fellowshipped together, all the children enjoyed wholesome fun at group outings, birthday parties, Bible studies, working on projects, etc. Soon we sensed that God was drawing Jonathan and Esther together. Six months after we graduated Jonathan from home school, he asked permission to court Esther. A year later they asked permission to become engaged and were married in May 1999. As a friend said at the wedding, "This is a real wedding."  

While some teens may be ready for the responsibilities of marriage, most are preparing for college or the work force. A simple transcript can be prepared as a record of the courses taken, grades received, and credits given. These forms can be purchased at a school supplier or self-designed. Home schoolers, like any other students, take college prep exams (SAT or ACT) if they are planning to attend college. Your local high school can either mail you the application for the exam, or they can direct you to the nearest high school that handles SAT or ACT testing. It is recommended that your students take an SAT or ACT preparation course (software programs for your computer or group classes in your area are available).   Copies of the test score and the transcript are sent to the college when he applies for admission. Upon graduation from high school, home schooling families award their teens with diplomas ( purchased at a school supply store or designed on your computer), and plan receptions with friends and family.  Some home school support groups even provide formal graduation services. You can also purchase graduation photographs and give your graduate a "covenant ring" that symbolizes moral purity until marriage. In addition, some graduates take the high school equivalency exams (GED); these may be required by some colleges, trade schools, or employers as further record of a high school education. Not surprisingly, some home schooling teens are taking college correspondence studies; this allows them the flexibility to work part-time jobs and live at home at the same time. Time and money can be saved while receiving a good education. Employers and colleges alike are finding that home schoolers make excellent employees/students and these young people encounter few problems pursuing their post high school goals.

As a personal example, our home schooled daughter-in-law, Esther, received the President's Scholarship (a full scholarship) to Tarleton University in Stephenville, Texas. She graduated Suma Cum Laude (in three years), giving the student speech at her graduation ceremony. She also received a scholarship for Texas Women's University, Denton, Texas, to work on her masters in dietetics. After our son's apprenticeship with Esther's dad, he built his own contracting business, and also began working on his bachelor's in business through an external degree program with Regent's University, New York. Jonathan studies each subject and then takes a final exam ( i.e., CLEP) which gives him credit for the class. This approach fits into his plans as he builds his own business. 

All in all, home schooling teenagers is the "icing on the cake." Earlier years were spent laying the foundation, but the teen years are spent building on that foundation. You have the satisfaction of personally attending to that solid construction. Goals long ago dreamed of will begin to take shape as your young adult nears his target. Being a part of your teen’s life in such a positive way will bring your family great joy. These are challenging and exciting times for the whole family . . . Enjoy!