SOCIALIZATION AND THE HOME SCHOOL

by Terri  White

One of the most frequent questions asked regarding home education concerns socialization. Unfortunately, it is a common misconception that well-socialized children require peer group association provided by conventional schools. Urie Bronfenbrenner, in his Two Worlds of Childhood: U S. and U S.S.R., states

If the institutions of our society continue to remove parents, other adults, and older youth from active participation in the lives of children, and if the resulting vacuum is filled by the age-segregated peer group, we can anticipate increased alienation, indifference, antagonism and violence on the part of the younger generation in all segments of our society -- middle-class as well as the disadvantaged . . .

It is not primarily the family, but other institutions in our society that determine how and with whom children spend their time, and it is these institutions that have created and perpetuated the age-segregated, and thereby often amoral or antisocial, world in which our children live and grow. Central among the institutions which, by their structure and limited concern, have encouraged these socially disruptive developments have been our schools.

The question we should be asking, then, is not whether the children will be socialized, but rather what kind of socialization do we want for them?

The child who feels needed, wanted, and depended on at home, sharing responsibilities and chores, is much more likely to develop a sense of self-worth and a stable value system -- which is the basic ingredient for positive sociability. More self-directed and independent, the child usually becomes a social leader. In 1959-60 and again in 1972-73, Raymond Moore of Hewitt Research Foundation conducted a study with school aged children that involved them in systematic daily chores in the home and school. The results? Fewer discipline problems, better attitudes, and higher achievers. They also tended to be more responsible, neat, prompt, orderly, dependable, and industrious. Carrying their share of the family load conributed a sense of security in the children that expressed itself in positive ways in the children’s everyday lives.

In contrast, negative sociability develops when a child surrenders to his peers. Those who spend more time with peers than their parents generally become peer dependent. Right down to the preschool level, heavy peer group associations breed a "persuasive pessimism" -- about themselves, their futures, their parents, and even their peers, and hence, a loss of self-direction, self-worth, and a dependency that promote learning failure and even delinquency. Doubtful manners, habits, and morals become contagious in a consistent, heavy peer environment.

However, some still question whether a home educated student will be prepared for the "real world" because of his "isolation." But what is the "real world"? Is it an age-segregated office or factory? On the contrary, the "real world" is made up of individuals of varying backgrounds and ages within the home and work place. Not raised in social isolation, home schooled children participate in support group activities, church functions, and community sports and events. Instead of being artificially segregated by age, they interact with both children and adults of all ages, thus enabling them to relate to people of a broad age spectrum. Measured on the Piers-Harris Children’s Self-Concept Scale, half of the home schooled children who were tested scored in the upper 10 percent. Researchers attributed these findings to the higher levels of parental involvement and corresponding lower levels of peer association.

On a personal note, our family  has home schooled for sixteen years, and our three children are now young adults. At this writing (October 1998), our oldest son is pursuing a business degree, working full time as a carpenter, is building his own house, and is getting married in May 1999.  Our second son is working with his brother for a year before he starts college;  he wants to go into newspaper journalism.  Our daughter, who is the youngest, will graduate in May 1999.  She has her own mime group and desires to participate in street ministry using her giftings in the drama and dance.

Over the years, my husband and I invested volumes of time in our children in academic training, teaching life skills, family outings, Bible studies, heart-to-heart talks, and much more. When the children  were younger, it was a priority for us  to participate in our home school support group’s weekly activities/outings. From these contacts our children formed their closest friendships. Church related meetings and events have been another outlet. All three had part-time jobs in their teen-age years. The children volunteered at the local museum and with Meals-On-Wheels, and also serve apprenticeships. Everyone cooperated in household chores. These combined experiences and responsibilities  instilled character and stability into our children. They are respected, trusted, and well liked in their circles of influence.

In conclusion, students who are home educated are generally secure, confident, independent, and stable -- essential qualities for leaders. They share relationships with people of varied ages and backgrounds. Interested in the world around them, they can carry on a conversation that extends beyond themselves. Social misfits? Not in the least! Home schooling families are training our leaders for tomorrow.

Endnotes:

1. Urie Bronfenbrenner, Two Worlds of Childhood: U. S. and U. S. S. R. (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1970), p. 11-17, 151-53.

2. Raymond S. Moore, "Research and Common Sense: Therapies for our Homes and Schools," Teachers College Record 84 (Winter 1982) : 366.

3. Bronfenbrenner, Two Worlds of Childhood, p. 101.

4. John Wesley Taylor, "Self-Concepts of Home-Schooling Children," Home School Researcher Vol. 2, No. 2 (Corvallis, OR, June, 1986).

 top