PERSONALITY PLUS

by Terri L. White

Each of the Smith children is different. Johnny Jr. never meets a stranger. When he’s not chatting on the phone, he’s surrounded by a half-dozen assorted friends. Sister Janey, on the other hand, would rather curl up in the arm chair and read as Johnny’s friends parade through the house. Socially, Janey prefers to spend time with her only best friend or to stay close to home. And then there is the baby of the family, affectionately nicknamed Bugs, who delights in organizing church, school, and neighborhood events. In his spare time he has a collection of antique, model cars that he meticulously assembles with the precision of a craftsman. These three children are raised in the same family, with the same parents -- yet so unlike each other.

Over the years psychologists have whittled the various personalities down to four main types. While the names for each category may vary from one researcher to the next, the personality traits remain the same. Gary Smalley and John Trent, well-known Christian counselors, have labeled the four types after animals: lion, otter, golden retriever, and beaver. Because each animal name is so descriptive and is easier to remember than clinical language, we will use Smalley and Trent’s system in this article.

Although environment and circumstances affect personality development, each individual is born with a distinct personality type that is unalterable. When I discovered this information in the early 1980's, it changed all of my relationships for the better. It was a relief to know that God did not create everyone to be just like me! Diverse personalities fit right into His plan for His creation. Parents who detect their children’s personality types will understand why Johnny Jr. cleans his room in ten minutes and Bugs takes an hour to clean only half his room. It will no longer be a mystery why Janey daydreams during math class. Since most families have a representation of each personality type, let’s find out "who we are!"

Lions are the leaders of the world. Determined, confident, and bold, they take charge and get the job done. They enjoy challenges, are decisive, and are great problem solvers. Their motto is "Let’s do it now!" Underlying these strengths, however, are blaring weaknesses. Lions are opinionated, arrogant, and unsympathetic. They are easily bored with details and can be difficult to please. Because they are insensitive to the needs of others, they can effortlessly leave a bloody trail of hurt feelings behind them. You will find lions in positions of leadership, crusading for causes, and participating in athletics. "Classic lions" will generally pursue their education with initiative and great care and will be your top students. As you "train up" your lion, help him to cultivate compassion and tolerance.

Playful, carefree, and talkative describe the otter. They are the life of the party, making new friends at every opportunity. Otters are networkers who seem to know everyone. They make good first impressions, breed enthusiasm, and live for the present moment. Taking risks without a care, their motto is "Trust me; it’ll work out!" On the down side, otters are unpredictable, lacking in self-control, and disorganized. The self-help books for "messies" are written for them. Easily distracted, otters leave a string of unfinished projects in their wake. Otters make the best salesmen, actors, and motivators. On a leadership team, they spark vision and enthusiasm. A combination lion/otter personality would be a "fun boss." Because otters are such socializers, school is a low priority for them. If they get their assignments done at all, it will be in a last minute flurry of activity. Paperwork is their nemesis for any job or school work. Never one for details, they will scurry through obligations like a whirlwind, leaving the details for those behind them. Training an otter can be frustrating, especially if your personalities clash. Patiently help him to develop self-control, integrity, and reliability.

Beavers love those details that otters despise! Creative, self-disciplined, and intellectual, beavers strive for quality. They are sensitive, predictable, and orderly. Their motto is "How was it done in the past?" As perfectionists, they tend to be overly critical. Prone to depression, revenge, and moodiness, beavers can be difficult to get along with. Our best teachers are beavers; they never tire of drilling our heads with phonics rules and the multiplication tables. The "creative" occupations are filled with beavers -- musicians, artists, writers, tailors/designers, culinary arts, interior decorators/architects, etc. Beavers fill the ranks of accountants, inventors, and philosophers. In school, beavers’ assignments will be the neatest and most thorough. However, their attention to detail will cause them to labor and fret needlessly over exams and projects. Your greatest challenge as a parent will be to encourage your beaver to understand that it is all right for some things to remain "imperfect" and to not expect everyone to live up to his stringent standards.

The "sweetheart" of all four personality types is the golden retriever -- calm, dependable, good-natured, and easy to get along with. They are our peace-loving diplomats. Golden retrievers are faithful friends, good listeners, and stable. Because they dislike any kind of confrontation, they will compromise to keep the peace at whatever cost. They can be passive, unenthusiastic, and very stubborn. Since golden retrievers hate change, their motto is "Let’s keep things the way they are." If golden retrievers are ever motivated to lead, they make the best leaders because they direct with a gentle, pleasant manner that lions lack. Their temperament makes excellent counselors, diplomats, and elementary educators. As "homebodies," they love to putter around the house. Working well under pressure, they handle school adequately, although they are not motivated to do more than is required. Find ways to motivate your golden retriever and help him to develop initiative.

Most people exhibit one primary personality type along with one or two secondary types. Parents can prayerfully guide the children to overcome their personality weaknesses by cultivating positive strengths. While sheer will-power can possibly accomplish some results, only the Holy Spirit working through your children’s lives can effect lasting changes. Understanding your children’s personality types enables parents to "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6)