Dear Ms. White,

 I thought  the “Get Stupid” essay was excellent.  Hana, Thomas, & Hannah have hit upon a technique I used with one of my very first published pieces.  As you  no doubt know, it’s the Reversal.  Nancy Davidson, then the Northwest editor of Sunset Magazine, told me about it.  I think I was still in college at the time and it was a great revelation to me.  Over the years, rather than use the wise old man who sets a high standard for youngsters, I used an ignorant old man who set a low standard, Rancid Crabtree.  Where others write about how to get found, I write about how to get lost.  Where others write about the greatest dog in the world, I write about the worst, Strange.  Here your students are still in high school and they write about the advantages of being dumb, a perfect reversal.  They are off to a great start, due, I suspect, to the talents of their teacher.   

Best regards,

Pat McManus

GET STUPID

by Hana Huff, Thomas Huff, & Hannah Stewart

April 2008

 

    I discovered early in life that I had a natural talent for demonstrating stupidity, a talent that through practice and discipline I honed to a sharp edge.  By my senior year of high school, I had so stupefied my teachers that they awarded me, on graduation night, the "Wayatoodense Achievement Award" -- the first and last of its kind.  It always captures the attention of prospective employers as they decipher my resume.

    I guess it worked.  For the past ten years, I have toiled in the Research Department of Pierre Plastic Palms.  Pierre, South Dakota, is renown for its palms.  As maintenance engineer for the company, I have been cogitating the palm's ability to sustain their polished green appearance with such an appalling lack of H2O.

    On my lunch breaks, I took it upon myself to covertly research this phenomenon.  I volunteered to dispose of my colleagues' beverages.  Instead of delivering them to the nearest trash receptacle, I offered them to the palms.  Over the next few weeks, the trees sampled water, coffee, Propel, Red Bull, Gatorade, Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, Sprite, pomegranate juice, apple juice, and even Monster energy drinks.  But it wasn't until I tried green tea that my labors bore fruit.  My co-worker, A. Choo, suddenly ceased his sniffling and sneezing.  Mr. Hacker, after passing the palm, terminated his consistent cough.  Eureka!  I had found the cure for the common cold: green tea extract, palm bark, and faux Spanish moss with just a hint of floral foam.